Posts from the ‘Writing’ Category

Movin’ On (Round 2)

The time has come.

The time is now.

For me to be packin’ up and movin’ on.

Yippee!

You may remember that for my 30th birthday, which wasn’t at all scary by the way, Rob and our friend Stuart gave me my domain http://dailymommysurvival.com as a gift. (Thanks again guys!) And that my friends, my readers, followers, and family is where you will find all things good, bad and indifferent in the Land of Lizze. From this point hence, please follow the bouncing ball over to

http://dailymommysurvival.com! 🙂

Yay!

(Oh and please excuse the mess over there as I am still working to get things “just right”. Don’t you just love OCD? lol)

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Elliott Richard’s 1st Alphabet

Elliott Richard had been working quietly and diligently in the playroom when he came to show me what he had been working on:

Writing the letters of the alphabet from memory on his Magnadoodle.

He had 7 or 8 that he had written from memory and he wanted help with the remaining 19 or so. So we sat down and I showed him how to draw his missing letters and then he drew them in, where ever he could find space, which is why they may appear jumbled and out-of-order. I think he did a pretty good job considering we just started working on writing the alphabet not too long ago. =)

* posted on the fly w/o the use of proper editing tools 😉 *

~ Lizzeann

Unconscious Mutterings

Rules for Unconscious Mutterings

“Rules are, there are no rules.” Each week they post ten words to the blog which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head. AND you don’t have to have your words up on Sunday. Take all week if you want! 

This is Week 387 for them but Week #1 for me. And away we go!

  1. Collectors :: stamps, Precious Moments, journals and pens (Oh my!)
  2. Passion :: love, marriage, connections
  3. Winner :: loser, competition
  4. Uninhibited :: bold, blunt, honest
  5. Challenge :: dare, compete, memes
  6. Self :: respect, know thy self, quest for self
  7. Your :: family, life, future
  8. Viewer :: television, peeping tom
  9. Random :: empty, open, available
  10. Vice :: Miami, smoking, junk food

Yeah, so some of these makes sense to the world at large. Most of them don’t even make sense to me, so I don’t really expect them to make sense to anyone else. They are just my answers. Perhaps I’ll get more detailed as I grow accustomed to the feel of the meme.

Honesty: My Story: Dear Mary,

Dear Mary,

I watched Glee tonight with Rob. I *heart* Glee! It’s one of, if not my absolute favorite non-cop/criminal related shows. Tonight part of the plot was about Rachel and her search for her birth mother who gave her up for adoption to a gay couple. Only it wasn’t so much Rachel’s search as it was Rachel’s Birth Mother’s desire to know her daughter.

I used to daydream about a reunion like that for us. You would look for me. Then we would be reunited. And have a happy reunion. A  happy relationship. Sure, it would be bumpy at first and bumpy at times because all relationships are sometimes. We would be okay though. We would still be family though.

What I don’t understand is; twice now in my life, you’ve pretended you wanted to know me. Twice now you’ve started to get to know me. The second time you went so far as to meet my family. Only to blow me off in the end.

That’s right, twice now you’ve done this to me! What the hell???? What is so wrong with me? Why is it that you said that you would get rid of my other three siblings if that’s what it took to keep me away from you? You blow me off and I don’t bother you. I don’t talk to you. I don’t have anything to do with you once you blow me off. I pretend as if you don’t exist. You are dead to me. I only speak your name to my sister, my husband or my therapist when I’m trying to make sense of your insanity. Something that’s truly pointless to do because really I’m a sane person seeking to make sense of the insane. Although this actually brings me to something I need to speak with you about.

You blew me off. You cut me out of your life over some imagined thing I had done. Not to you, mind you but to Trisha or Charissa – you weren’t sure which. The last thing you said to me on the phone was:

Me: I’m not going to keep defending myself when it doesn’t do any good and all it does is anger you more.

You: I can’t talk to you anymore! I’ll call you back when I’m not so angry!

Then you hung up on me. That was 2 or 3 days before Easter and you still haven’t called me back. Despite the fact that I had called you a few times and you ignored my calls. I had texted you a few times as well – all ignored. The only text you didn’t ignore was the “Happy Easter” text I sent mostly out of some sick sense of guilt because technically you are my “mother” and “I should”. I didn’t expect a response. Imagine my surprise when I received “Same to you”. I guess technically that was the last thing you ever said to me – “Same to you”.

I hate you for that. For getting my hopes up the second time. I fought against it. Especially because I had Rob and Trisha this time. I didn’t have that kind of protection the first time around. But this time, I had the benefit of Rob to back me up and pick me up when I fell – and I did. I also had the benefit of Trisha’s lifetime of experiences with you. Even with all that, I still got my hopes up. Between text messages, your willingness to help with Gavin, the few times you took me to breakfast…Can I just talk about those few times we had breakfast or lunch together?

I was like a star-struck kid. I was terrified of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. I was sure that if I made one wrong move you would write me off again because I had embarrassed you or because of some other unknown slight. I even opened up to you about this when we were sitting in the Cafeteria at the Children’s Hospital while Emmett John had his ABR. Do you remember what you said? You said that I couldn’t say the wrong thing or make the wrong move. That I was worrying about nothing and I should stop. Yeah, that worked out well for me, didn’t it? You wrote me off in the end anyway.

I’m going out of order here but it’s my letter and I’ll do what I want to. Besides, let’s be honest for a moment. You read Rob’s blog. You don’t read mine. If you did, you wouldn’t be pumping my sister for information about Emmett John after he fell down the stairs because both Rob and I posted updates. But I digress.

The first time around, I admit my hopes were up from Go! There was no way they wouldn’t be. You were my birth mother. I had been searching for you for 4 years! Posting my information on every free Adoption Registry I could find. Doing anything that looked like it might be the slightest bit helpful to an adoptee searching for her birth family. If another adoptee had told me to dance by the light of a silvery moon and you would appear, full of love and thrilled to see me…I’d have done it.

I didn’t have any protection the first time. I had an ex-mother-in-law who didn’t understand why you mattered. And I had an adoptive family who either hated me for hurting my Adopto-Mom or simply hated me because they viewed what I was doing as an attack on the family. Like they weren’t good enough. A few of them were bold enough to vocalize their opinions – painfully so. Most kept their opinions to themselves and just gave me “looks”. Again, like most things in my life, the only one who even tried to understand me, my motivations, my emotions, or anything else was my Auntie Paula.

Read more…

Friday Fill-In #7

And…here we go!

1. I just had an absolutely horrible night’s sleep.
2. Mr. Emmett John is by far the most complicated of my 3 boys to care for (at this age).
3. The third sentence on the 7th page of the book I’m reading: Sorry, I just finished my last book and I haven’t started a new one yet.
4. The Twilight series, the House of Night series, the Harry Potter series tickle my fancy. Since we’re talking about books.
5. I was walking through the kitchen when suddenly, my feet were ambushed by two gray balls of fur, fluff and teeth..
6. The Office and Community makes me laugh! When nothing else can.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to working on laundry and sleeping – nah, maybe I’ll just watch TV and sleep, tomorrow my plans include seeing my therapist, writing and Spring Cleaning and Sunday, I want to rest and write…maybe take a nap!

If you’d like to join in the fun that is Friday Fill-In please head on over to Janet’s blog and jump right in! =)

Honesty preamble

It was rather refreshing being honest on my own blog for once. Up to this point, I’ve always been honest don’t get me wrong. I’ve only been honest to a point though. Never completely honest like that about the things that are the most difficult for me to admit. It’s made me realize how many other truths I have that I need to get off my chest. It’s also made me realize that if my purpose behind this blog is to leave behind a legacy for my Boys. A record of my life, my thoughts, my feelings and our lives as a family so that they might remember some day; that it isn’t fair of me to short change them by editing my thoughts and feelings.

So I think I’ll try to make the “Honesty” post a frequent part of Daily Mommy Survival.

New article is up!

I’ve rewritten this article more times than I can remember at this point but I’ve finished it! =)

Here it is!

Please check it out! Every click and subscription counts! =)