Posts from the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Check out the cool site repairpal.com

We used to drive a nice Saturn L200 but honestly it was to small.  We were without a car when we lost it. My aunt and uncle gave us a Kia Sportage and that got a through some tough times. When the electrical system went completely nuts (apparently a known and non-repairable condition) we had to finally put her to rest. We are very grateful and lucky to have such generous family.  Then my parents fixed up their Chevy Lumina and gave that to us. We are currently still driving that. However, with the behavioral issues some of our kids have (namely Gavin) we have safety issues to worry about. So we are in the market for a new or nicely used mini-van. We have found that the pilot seats work out really well. The kids stay separated and are still easily accessible. Everyone has their space and we can even safely bring Maggie along for the ride.

Right now it’s honestly probably smarter to start thinking about making the move. I have some pending maintenance that will need to be done in the near future. I looked a few of them up to get an idea of the cost involved and I found this site called http://repairpal.com. I searched for things like oil change and found this http://repairpal.com/engine-oil-filter-change. Then I searched for tune up and found http://repairpal.com/tune-up-what-is-it. This is pretty cool because this site kind of breaks things down for you and helps you to estimate the cost and find a shop to have it done. You just put in your information like ”Houston auto repair” if you lived in Houston and you find this http://repairpal.com/houston-auto-repair.  Computers are my thing not cars so this was a nice find.

Then I actually started playing around with the site and they even have car reviews, kind of like epinions.com where regular people write the reviews based on personal experience. For example you could look up Acura Integra and find this http://repairpal.com/acura-integra-1998. In my case I used it t check out my future van the chevy venture it actually got great reviews http://repairpal.com/chevrolet-venture-2005.

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New Examiner article by your’s truly! Read all about it!

I wrote and posted a new article to my Examiner.com account!

I’ve been having some issues writing lately. And there’s more I’d like to say about the article but given that it’s 11PM, I think I’ll leave it at this:

It’s a short piece about Autism and it’s effects on marriage.

I hope you’ll check it out and enjoy!

The corneal abrasion

My morning began with Mr. Emmett John waking up and refusing to go back to sleep at 4AM. Finally, at 6:30-7AM, when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, I handed Emmett John over to Rob and went back to bed. Yeah, that was short lived.

When 8AM rolled around all too quickly Elliott Richard woke me up saying that Gavin had “poked himself in the eye”. I couldn’t hear the screaming yet and also couldn’t figure out why Rob needed me to help with this slight injury.

Turns out Gavin and Elliott Richard were playing in the Play Room and Gavin went digging through the Toy Box. Somehow in his enthusiasm he didn’t notice the piece of plastic race track sticking out of the Toy Box.

In he dove.

The track raced up to meet him, square in his right eye.

And the screaming, flailing and blind (literally) swinging punches began.

When I got downstairs Gavin was on the stairs to try and limit his ability to harm himself or others with his blind flailing and swinging. He had also rubbed his eye to the point of making his whole eyelid pink and extremely swollen. Every time we tried to get his eye open to survey the damage, it triggered another round of screaming, flailing and blind swinging. Not to mention, although clearly I am, the high-pitched, ear-splitting, migraine inducing (seriously, he gave me a migraine that I can’t get rid of) screeching. When he finally allowed me to look at his eye it appeared to me that he had a long corneal abrasion/scratch. It looked nasty. That was the point we decided to go to the Children’s Hospital over waiting to see Dr. H tomorrow.

So I woke my sister up at 8-ish AM on the 4th of July to ask beg her to go with me since it was very likely that restraint in some form was going to be necessary. Plus, with Grandma and Pa-Pa G in Michigan for a wedding someone had to sit with the Boys. So Trisha went with me because she is far more entertaining than Rob in these situations. 😉

The ER at the Children’s Hospital got us back right away and they were really kind to Gavin right off the bat. We had a bit of a wait once in the room because there was a little kid with some pretty serious injuries that needed to be tended to. And Gavin screamed and screeched nearly the whole time!

Then there were moments when the drama was about knee deep or more. I don’t say that to be mean but I about died when he threw his hand out with his snotty tissue between his fingers like it was toxic and said, “Can someone please throw this away for me because I can’t see?” Of course, he failed to notice that he couldn’t see because his eyes were squeezed shut about as tight as possible. (lol)

Once the doctor came in, the screaming and screeching increased but we also got some answers and treatment. So it was a pretty even trade-off. He peeked at Gavin’s eye and said he could see the abrasion with his naked eye. He also said if you can see a corneal abrasion with your naked eye, it’s pretty bad! Then he numbed up Gavin’s eye, put in some dye so he could see the full extent of the abrasion and some other eye drops which he said were like Neosporin for his eye.

Gavin's corneal abrasion

When he put the dye in and used his pocket black light to look at his eye and see the extent of the damage – how large and deep – he allowed Trisha and I too see. It’s big! Even the doctor said it was pretty big. It’s about the size and almost the shape of an eraser at the end of a pencil (in real life, not the size of that one on the left lol).

Gavin was discharged with eye drops and a prescription for Tylenol 3 for the pain. The doctor said that regular Tylenol would help but for an abrasion as bad as Gavin’s he would recommend the Tylenol 3. So, Tylenol 3 it is.

Once he was discharged we made it for home. Now that Gavin has had his medications, he’s been asleep since just after we got home. Unfortunately, Gavin’s screaming and screeching gave me a horrible migraine but Emmett John’s screaming and screeching keep feeding it. And I don’t get to go back to bed, which is incredibly unfair if you ask me. 😉

Nightmarish Reality

Saturday night I had what felt like a dream but based on content alone was a nightmare.

Rob dropped me and Emmett John off at a family Christmas Party, only Emmett John wasn’t nearly 2 years old like he is now. He was almost a newborn, maybe a few months old. Once Rob dropped us off he was gone, he never came back.

I was at this Christmas Party alone with Mr. Emmett John. Then I realized who else was there. The guest list went something like this:

  • Barb (Adopto-“Mom”)
  • Mary (Bio-“Mom”)
  • Aunt Carol (Rob’s Side)
  • Susie (My Side)
  • Auntie Paula (My Side)
  • Grammy (My Side)
  • the rest of the guests I knew but don’t remember

The other guests were various female family members that I knew but I don’t remember at the moment. They all had one thing in common: I’ve felt at one time or another or more likely through most of my relationship with them that they are/were disapproving of my parenting style or skills.

Every guest at this “party” was critical of me from the moment I walked in the door with my tiny baby infant Mr. Emmett John. They were telling me what I was doing flat out wrong, what I was doing just a little wrong, and “really you want to do that“. They kept trying to take Emmett John from me every time I went to take him to nurse. Every time someone took him it was next to impossible for me to get him back. They were making it very clear that the sole purpose of this “party” had been for them to trick me and take at least 1/3 of my children.

The entire dream/nightmare everyone, except my Auntie Paula, took every opportunity to tell me how much they hated me. How horrible of a mother I am. How I don’t really do what’s in the boys’ best interests; I do whatever is easiest for me. I’m lazy.

My Auntie Paula kept telling me that, “Maybe if you hadn’t cut them out of your lives, no matter how much you felt it was the right thing to do. Things might be different now.”

Everywhere I went in the house, someone was right there with me. Either harassing me or attempting to relieve me of Emmett John. It was just exhausting – more so than some of the gymnastics or running dreams I’ve had.

What’s 1 more?

Gavin has been a complete and total champ today. I wish I knew more about hearts. How they work. What a heart echo is *supposed* to look like. What a 12 lead EKG is *supposed* to look like. I wish I knew more about Marfan Syndrome. Does he really need another "Syndrome" on top of everything else?!?! How is that even fair?!?! I did some reading about Marfan Syndrome the other night. I stopped after reading that until recently the average life expectancy for a patient with Marfan's Syndrome was 32 years old. I wanted to run away when we told the nurse about the *Deme's genetic aortic dissections and the first thing she said was, "Ah, undiagnosed Marfan's Syndrome." *And she wrote it in his chart!!!* I don't want it in his chart! I don't want him to have another syndrome! So far today he's had an EKG and an Echocardiogram. I couldn't tell anything about about either test while they happened so everything looked bad and very horrible to me. So I stopped watching.
Elizabeth Gorski

"My heart’s having a meltdown." (Also titled PLEASE PRAY!)

We are on our way to the pediatric cardiologist with Gavin. We’ve recently learned that his biological paternal grandfather and his biological paternal aunt both passed away of dissecting aortic anueisms (sorry about the spelling and lack of links I’m on the road), which is genetic. Gavin’s heart is already special because its flipped and I forget what’s that called at the moment. So now we’re on our way to pediatric cardiologist – who got us in today during a phone call Monday morning if that gives you any indication how serious this potentially could be.

Please pray.

PS The title is how Gavin describes his heart pain. I thought it was appropriate given the seriousness of the situation. I wanted to remember it.

To my wife…….

Lizze,

I have been trying to figure out how to reach out and find you. I know you are going through something very profound. I can’t and won’t pretend to understand how you feel and where you are. I know you feel so many different emotions and I can see all the pain and fear in your eyes even though you try to hide it from the rest of the world. I wish there was something I could do to help carry this burdon. I feel absolutely helpless. I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone anymore and rightfully so. You have lost a great deal or rather a great deal has been taken from you. Over the years you have learned not to trust anyone. You have been forced to put a wall in order to survive.

I have found over the years that I am paying a price for what others have done. I was hurt because I thought that after 10 years and everything we have been through I shouldn’t have to prove myself.. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand…But I get it now…

Lizze, I only saw the doors you still had closed and I missed all the ones you have opened for me. I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner but I see it now…

I am writing this because if I try to say this it will never come out right. Sometimes speaking isn’t enough. You know I prefer to talk but I think this is a better way for now.

I love you so much. I want to thank you for opening all the doors you have. I understand how hard that is to do. You once told me you have let me in farther then anyone else. At the time I didn’t think it was enough.. I want you to know that I didn’t understand then. I’m truly honored to be where I am even if there are still some closed doors.

I need you to understand that I am here and I believe in you. I know sometimes you are feeling your way through the dark but you aren’t alone. I will be here even I just sit outside the door patiently waiting until your ready open it for me.. I think I will quit while I’m ahead.

I have been listening to this song for a while now and I think it says most of what I have been trying to say….I think it fits us pretty well… Especially the refrain….It’s 4am now so I am hoping this will make sense….

I love you,

Rob

I’ll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You’ve been the only thing that’s right
In all I’ve done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we’ll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don’t have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We’re bound to be afraid
Even if it’s just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear