Posts from the ‘Crazy Me/OCD’ Category

Preparing for the future

When I was with my ex-husband, Nick, and I had Gavin, his parents purchased life insurance for him. I didn’t understand why at the time. It seemed so morbid to me, preparing for your child’s possible demise. Then when Nick and I split and the policy was allowed to lapse and eventually close altogether, I began to thinking about insurance and life insurance in earnest.

When Rob and I moved in together, he made sure we both had at least a bit of life insurance. Of course, we had our car insurance, renter’s insurance and then the little private policies on the expensive electronics Rob loves so much. But life insurance? What was the deal? I would learn soon enough.

We had some very basic life insurance on each other; in case of something horrible. That way we’d at least have enough for a small service and that was good enough at the time. Then my health made a drastic turn for the worse. One doctor told me I was “24 with the body of an 89-year-old”. Life insurance was going to be next to impossible to get now! They require physicals; Rob and I both knew I wouldn’t pass one. Who wants to cover someone with Fibromyalgia, chronic migraines, GERD and IBS?

Then to make matters even more complicated, we ended up on public assistance again. With public assistance you aren’t permitted to have whole life insurance because you can draw money out against the policy. They view that money as cash. We needed the insurance but we needed to find decent coverage that fit all of our needs. It was a nightmare!

In the end, we manged to get our insurance agent to find something that worked for us and with us. Thank God!

Brought to you by your friends at America Life Quotes!

The preferred parent

Children go through life in phases. Some phases are obvious and a given; the infant phase and toddler phase, for instance. Other phases are unique; which television shows they are hooked on or if they go through an orange food phase. The other two phases every child is likely to bounce between for many years are the Mommy Phase and the Daddy Phase.

The Mommy Phase is when the infant, toddler or child is about all things mommy. Mother and child appear joined at the hip. Where Mommy goes; so does the child. Mommy is the only one who is acceptable in life for fulfilling any of the day-to-day needs. Hungry? Ask mommy. Wet or dirty and in need of a diaper change? Find mommy. Tired? Only mommy will do. It isn’t that I’m any better at any of those things than Daddy. It’s just that I’m the preferred parent at that point in time.

The Daddy Phase is the exact same phase only the roles are reversed. Rather than being the preferred parent for every action, outing and need; Rob is. For all things in life, during the Daddy Phase, only he will do. No substitutions accepted.

While you would think that I would be grateful for a Daddy Phase because it allows a certain amount of extra “me time”; it doesn’t always work out that way. There is something rather insulting with a sense of abandonment about the Daddy Phase. Suddenly, overnight at times, it seems as if I am no longer good enough. The food I prepare is sub-par. The bedtime stories I’ve chosen aren’t long enough or funny enough. Sometimes it seems the things I say and do…well, the Boys seem to take them offensively. It’s heartbreaking to watch them prefers someone else, even if that “someone else” happens to be Rob.

Unfortunately, there aren’t many ways to get over things when I’m not the chosen parent. It’s simply one of those things I just have to move past. Unless of course I’d rather share my feelings with another mother, who is likely to understand. Either way, there really isn’t much I can do about the phase.

I know I should recognize the unseen benefit and enjoy the little bit of extra time I am being offered, while it lasts; especially since I always seem to be complaining about how little “me time” I’ve allowed. Plus, I know that all too quickly, I am going to find myself the object of obsession and soon I’ll be wishing for that extra “me time”. But for now, it’s hard.

It hurts me to hear Emmett John scream “Da” and “Daddy” over and over again. Knowing that he doesn’t say “Ma” or “Mommy”. He doesn’t call me anything. I know I shouldn’t allow it to get to me this way. I know it’s a phase and “This too shall pass.” But damnit, it does!

And now that I’ve vented and whined and had my little pitty party, I think I’ll go try and pay the bills with some blogging related stuff.

Movin’ On (Round 2)

The time has come.

The time is now.

For me to be packin’ up and movin’ on.

Yippee!

You may remember that for my 30th birthday, which wasn’t at all scary by the way, Rob and our friend Stuart gave me my domain http://dailymommysurvival.com as a gift. (Thanks again guys!) And that my friends, my readers, followers, and family is where you will find all things good, bad and indifferent in the Land of Lizze. From this point hence, please follow the bouncing ball over to

http://dailymommysurvival.com! 🙂

Yay!

(Oh and please excuse the mess over there as I am still working to get things “just right”. Don’t you just love OCD? lol)

New Poll! Opinions greatly appreciated!

I’ve added a poll to the right side of my blog asking for your thoughts and opinions about adding blog posts written for cash to my daily updates etc. It’s a good opportunity for me to help out my family and help pay the mounting bills for all things new and special that the boys are needing (like more diapers for Emmett John since he’s refusing to wear any of the diapers unless they have Cookie Monster on them!). I just want to make sure it’s the right thing for my blog because it’s become one of my babies as well.

So if you would be so kind as to offer up your opinions; I’d really appreciate it. =)

Slowly moving forward

He’s been taken for his chest x-ray, which Gavin found super cool because they were able to show him the x-ray images.

Then they came and performed his EKG, which Gavin didn’t mind because he could keep watching Total Drama Island. He wasn’t too keen on the stickers though.

The nurse didn’t say anything about them so I don’t know where we stand on their results.

I’ll update more later, when I have more to give.

* posted on the fly w/o the use of proper editing tools 😉 *

~ Lizzeann

Please pray!

Gavin has been having chest pain the past few days. I’ve been trying to get him in with Dr. VK but until them but in the mean time, Rob and I decided to take him to the local Children’s ER.

That’s where we are now. Waiting in his room. While the ER as a whole begins a “Code Yellow” disaster drill. Great timing, huh?

As it stands at 740P his stats are:

BP: 97/65
Temp: 36.6C
Pulse Ox: 98%
Pulse: 80bpm
Weight: 75.6lb

I’ll update as I know more.

Please keep Gavin in your prayers. Oh, and the doctor and the nurses and Rob and I because this has the potential to be a very combative evening.

* posted on the fly w/o the use of proper editing tools 😉 *

~ Lizzeann

My thoughts and feelings

Gavin’s appointment with Dr.R left me with a migraine I didn’t have going into the appointment, still in a Fibro-flare, and feeling completely emotionally and mentally drained. Narcolepsy aside, it’s been a struggle to keep my eyes open ever since I got home. I wasn’t expecting things to be so exhausting. I’ll know better next time.

I don’t like the idea of Gavin being on Lithium; however, if it’s what necessary to help Gavin and hopefully make our lives a little calmer, then we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do.

The Seroquel scares the pants off me; I’m not going to lie. The fact that it’s very possible for the facial tics to be permanent – that’s the last thing Gavin needs, is something else to overcome.

I worry about the long-term side effects that we may not be aware of, of all of the medications Gavin is on currently and has been on in the past.

I feel horrible saying this but I wish this were happening to someone else’s baby, not mine. Not just because it’s exhausting to parent a child with special needs such as Gavin’s but also because I can’t imagine what it must be like for him. Never knowing for sure if the voices he hears talking to him are real or in his head. I’ve always had compassion for John Nash, his story about life with schizophrenia is portrayed in the movie “A Beautiful Mind”, when he asks a student at the end of the movie if she can see a gentleman who is talking to him. Now that I have a child with much the same problem and concern; it is a whole different kind of compassion.