Day sucks! I couldn’t sleep last night or nap today. I’m nauseous & can’t eat. I have a migraine which I think is part of the eating issue – but part of it is just indepentent nausea. I’m a mess over this stupid mary mess.

I have ADHD. So I have the whole thinking a lot and too fast issue anyway. Then I have OCD, which makes stuff like this worse because the ADHD gets my mind going a zillion miles an hour and the OCD makes me obsess endlessly about whatever the issue is. So I couldn’t sleep last night because between the ADHD and OCD I couldn’t get my brain to shut the Hell up and shut off!

I’m tired of this mess. I’m tired of the amount of unfinished posts that are taking up space because I keep trying to purge and stopping half way through. I’m tired of Mary. The movie was Wrong! there isn’t something about Mary. She’s just a mean, cruel, heartless, wench.

I can’t believe that she is effecting me lthis way.

I hate her.

There are few people on this planet I actually hate – I may say it in anger – but there are few people it actually applies to. SHE is one of them.

Mary, I hate you.

I hate you for what you did to me, for what you did to my sons, for what you did to my husband, for what you did to my brother, for you’ve done to all of us.

Mike is far more forgiving than I am. If you want forgiveness and empathy see Him. You won’t find it here. I think you are insane. I don’t know if you will go to Hell for your sins – for which there are many – but I do know you will be judged for cutting us out of your life, hurting us and how you did it. It was cold and souless. Trying to keep up religious lies and appearances isn’t a good enough reason for what you’ve done.

For the record, when I tell Father L *My Story* it will be *My Story*. The fact that it includes you is an unfortunate fact of genetics. If you don’t like the fact that I will be going to *my* priest with *my* story to hopefully get help dealing with the emotional disaster I’ve become – all I can tell you is oh flipping well.

Get over it.

I have to.

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