Emmett John is a very angry little guy. Understandably so, however, that doesn’t change the fact that he can’t go through life that way. I mean no one wants to be angry forever. Plus he’s so angry with no way to express himself that he lashes out…at me. He doesn’t lash out at anyone else, just me.
It’s crazy. He:
- hits
- pinches
- bites
- punches
- scratches
- slaps
me. Plus he has this scream…it’s horrible. It’s high-pitched, long-winded and just grates…it kills me every time. Especially when I already have a migraine…forget about it.
The physical abuse is what really and truly gets to me though. I don’t know if it’s because of my history with Nick or because he doesn’t abuse anyone else that way. But I’m starting to feel just the least bit unloved.
Now he hits his brothers. But that’s a brotherly-completely- age-appropriate thing, his Help Me Grow Case Manager Tiffany said so. He doesn’t go after them with the vengeance he seems to come after me. He’ll come to me, arms up appearing to be an adorable 22 month old little boy. Then when I pick him up he attacks me! Literally. He begins by punching me in the cheeks, these little baby punches that quickly turn painful. Then he pinches. And it quickly swirls out of control from there. Dr. H had told me to
- Tell him “NO” in a stern voice with the “angry Mommy face”.
- Put him down.
- Walk away and “ignore him” for a bit.
whenever he bites or scratches or hits etc me. Yeah, I do that. It has absolutely no effect whatsoever on him. He doesn’t care. He walks off. Does his own thing until the “punishment” is over. And then is thrilled when I pay attention to him again – since I obviously can’t ignore him forever.
I don’t know what to do.
I am already in muscular pain to some extent everyday of my life from the Fibromyalgia. Then you add a 2 year old (for all intents and purposes) hurting and injuring me on top of that, at every available opportunity. I don’t know if I can survive that.
I’m already so far over my limit. I’m so close to my person edge. I don’t know if I can take much more. I know there are sensory issues at play here. I know he can’t talk and really can’t communicate for all intents and purposes and that much frustrate and anger him but I can’t continue to be his outlet for that anger and frustration. It hurts too badly.
Perhaps I should feel loved that he turns to me Or honored that I’m the one he chooses? But I don’t. I just hurt. I’m tired of my doctors looking at the injuries he inflicts and thinking I’m self-injuring – because I know that’s what they think. I tell them where the injuries came from – they don’t believe me. I’m not stupid. I can read their expressions and the fact that they are feverishly taking notes but never again mention the marks and injuries.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know how to stop him. I don’t know how to get him to stop any of these dangerous and negative behaviors. He fell down the stairs – most people would have some degree of fear or apprehension about going up and down the stairs after a fall like that. Not Mr. Emmett John. He just keeps screwing around on the stairs. We. Can’t. Get. Him. To. Stop. We are consistent. We are strict – as “strict” as possible with a 22 month old. We say “No”. We do everything we are supposed to do but it doesn’t work.
I don’t know what to do.
1 responses to “Autism & Carefully Directed Violence?”
clairelouise82
May 16th, 2010 at 12:04
HI Glad I found the blog.
Just been reading your husbands blog which is as great. Love the love and support you both show towards eachother. He wasn’t wrong when he wrote how great a writter and mum you are. You sound so strong and regardless of your own pain you keep going for the family! You are a inspriration to many.
I myself am a fellow parent of a child on the spectrum. I have three beautiful children 2 boys and a girl. Alice is 7 and baby Harley 5 months. My little man ( nick name ) is 9 and has Aspergers. I’m having huge problems with him and his agressive behaviour, It’s worse at school and where they don’t seem to have an understanding of him and his Aspergers he gets frustrated and that’s when all hell breaks loose. He is returning to school on Monday after just completing exclusion number five. these five exclusions have all taken place since 03 March this year. This makes him feel so different from his peers and leads to worse behaviour. He never had friends at school was very aloof but since this year the whole school likes him. This is because he discovered being the class clown/joker got him liked. He can’t seem to pull from the act now and is often disruptive in class. He says he likes that they have a shine on there face( I am unsure as to why he calls a smile a shine but this is what he meant) It gets to me as his so clever with a great IQ but he don’t display this and school brand him below peer learning age ( They have seen his IQ test results ) I really need to get him in a school better suited to needs as all this upset is coming out at home his abuse is horrid and mostly at me and sister. He has only ever hit me twice but his poor sister is really but through it and that concerns me. He has hit teachers, peers and his sister and like u an lost as what is my next step in preventing such challenging behaviour. Here in UK a statement off educational needs is needed for admission to asd spealist schools. They hate fuding it so I’m preying they statement and soon.
Good luck hun thinking of you.
Claire.x
1 Trackbacks / Pingbacks
Tweets that mention Autism & Carefully Directed Violence? « Daily Mommy Survival -- Topsy.com May 15th, 2010 at 20:36
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Elizabeth. Elizabeth said: Autism & Carefully Directed Violence?: http://wp.me/pRkvh-nV […]