I just talked to Dr. D’s office. *le sigh*

On the Bright Side
At this point I do not have to go in because I have an appointment tomorrow morning. They just told me to keep an eye on it all. Take a bath or shower. And generally rest most today.

On the Crappy End of Things
My Heparin has been increased to 10,000 units BID. That’s an entire syringe thingie!!!! I asked if I had to relocate the site of the injections from my arms and she said I should be alternating between my arms and stomach (No freaking way!) or my arms and thighs. Thighs are still iffy but at least I have more fat there than my stomach at this point. Here let’s use that crappy scale of 1-10 that I love so much to rate my freak-out factors…

Current shots in my arms: Freak-out factor of 5 (I hate it. It sucks. But I can turn away and close my eyes and “find my happy place”.)
Current shots in my stomach: Freak-out factor of 15 (It terrifies me more than I can say.)
Current shots in my thighs: Freak-out factor of 8.5 (I was so freaked out and terrified that I almost puked. That is how bad my needle phobia is.)

On the list of Ultra-Mega-Super Crappy Things
We just learned that the new dose of Heparin (10,000 units in 1cc of fluid = 1 shot BID) that I need is persona-non-grata. Poof. Gone. None to be had. However, they do have 5,000 units in 1cc of fluid per vial, which means 2 shots to get what I should be getting in 1 shot. That means 4 shots per day!

I’m done at this point. Seriously. Stick a fork in me. I’m done. I want out. I want it to stop. I want to just be left alone with the rest of my pregnancy. No more shots. No more bed rest. No more meds. No more contractions. That’s it. I can’t take anymore. I’ve spend the morning crying and trying not to puke because of all of it. If the pharmacy calls and says that there is absolutely nothing that can be done to get around 4 shots per day, I will burst into tears. I was finally starting to get my appetite back. It’s gone again. I don’t even know that anything sounds good to eat at this point.

I just need a break. Why can’t I catch a break? Just a tiny, little break.

Advertisements