My girlfriend, April, recently posted a comment to my “Help, we’ve fallen and we can’t get up” blog that made me cry. I needed this. I needed to feel the unconditional love of a friend whom I’ve never had the privledge to meet face-to-face. A friend who does not judge me. I can’t explain exactly how it helps or why it helps me to know that others believe in me and love me.

I’ve been struggling lately…I know, I hide it well. 😉 I struggle to do the right thing for both of my boys. I struggle to eat the right things for Tiny. I struggle to get enough sleep. It is beginning to feel as if absolutely everything in my life lately has become a struggle. Gavin is a struggle. Elliott Richard is non-stop when Gavin is home. (The difference between Elliott Richard while Gavin was staying with my mom and Elliott Richard with Gavin at home is quite noticable.) I struggle to communicate with Rob effectively. I struggle to communicate my emotions period a lot of the time. And now I’m struggling to stay healthy.

As crazy as it may sound, while I know intellectually that my friends and family love and support me…sometimes it’s just nice to hear it. It’s nice to see it and read it. I recognize that not everyone can take Gavin for a day or two but it helps to know that you are there (or here) and care. An email. A joke. A glitter comment. Whatever. I just can’t put into words how much it helps me to know that you love and support me (and all of us). In that moment, when I’m reading a comment or an email or whatever, I don’t feel quite so alone. I don’t feel like everything is stacked against me. Even if it’s only for a moment, it helps.

I’m just so tired. Tired of being sick. Tired of everything being a struggle. I just want to go to bed and sleep for a week. Maybe two.

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