Wednesday morning I woke up early because I had some last minute PTA stuff to type up so I could get them set home with the kids that afternoon. As I was typing, Gavin came over looking very pleased with himself. Here was the exchange…

G: I have a secret for my teachers. They will be so proud of me!
Me: Uh…baby, why don’t you tell Mommy the secret first?
G: No. I can’t wait to tell my teachers. They’ll be SO IMPRESSED!
Me: Seriously, baby. Tell Mommy first, just to be safe.
G: Okay. *pause for dramatic effect* I know how we know when to pee.
Me: Wow. Okay, how do we know when to pee?
G: Well, everyone has “tentacles”. (tentacles = testicles) And when your tentacles fill up with pee, you know. Then your pee-pee throws it up.
Me: *trying desperately not to laugh* Oh. Okay. That’s a very good theory but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it happens.
G: Oh yes, that’s how it happens. Your tentacles fill-up and your pee-pee throws it up.
Me: Gavin, that’s not how it happens. Daddy can explain it to you tonight after school if you like but that’s not how it happens.
G: Oh. Are you sure?

Now could I have tried to explain it to him? Yes. Did I have the time? No. Did I have the slightest clue where to start or how to begin? No. So I pawned it off on Rob. Gavin never did ask by the way.

Now we fast forward about 20-25 minutes. I am at the school separating papers so that each class has the proper number with Miss F. Miss L, one of Gavin’s teachers, comes out of the classroom holding a piece of paper. She walks over to me and the following conversation took place…

Miss L: *trying not to laugh* Guess what your son did.
Me: *sighs but keeps counting* I don’t think I want to know. Whatever it is, I’m sorry. We will talk to him and it will never happen again.
ML: No. No. No. It’s okay.
Me: Okay…
ML: Your son drew this for me. *holds out piece of paper with a confusing drawing on it*
Me: Uh…what is that?
ML: It’s me.
Me: Oh that’s nice. *confused but still counting papers*
ML: Peeing.
Me: *stops counting* Excuse me? *takes drawing*
ML: Gavin was very proud of himself when he finished this. When he gave it to me, he said I could keep it. Well, I asked him about it. And he said it’s me, peeing.
Me: Sweet mother of God. *sighs* I’m SO sorry. (at this point I’m very grateful that his school is understanding and does not suspend for this sort of thing)
ML: Did you see my penis?
Me: *jaw drops* Your what?!
ML: My penis. Gavin said I pee with a penis and he drew it. (Sure enough he had.)
Me: *stunned silent*
(at this point Mrs. C his other teacher comes to the doorway)
Mrs. C: *laughing* So, what did you think?
Me: I’m SO sorry.
MC: It’s okay, really. We explained to Gavin that going to the bathroom was a very private thing and it wasn’t okay to draw, write or talk about it. I think he understands.
Me: Well, life is definitely never dull with an Autistic son. *laugh*

Thank God, Gavin doesn’t still attend the local public school. They would have suspended him for this because it’s “protocol”. Zero tolerance policy and all that crap. (They tried to suspend him for hugging a female student when he apologized. *sigh*)

On a less embarrassing note, Elliott Richard has learned some new words. The other night Rob asked me if I wanted ice cream. I had no idea Elliott Richard knew exactly what ice cream was. He’s never shown any interest in it before unless it was Gavin’s. Well, this time he heard Daddy say “ice cream” and it was on. He began jumping up and down (which still takes quite a bit of effort for him) and screaming “i ceam!” “i ceam!” The problem is that even if no one else offers it or asks about it, every night he looks at me and asks “i ceam?” at least once. lol

He’s also started calling Kate’s dog, Oscar, by name. Of course it sounds more like “ah-car” but he definitely means Oscar. What amuses me about this is the fact that he says Mom, Dad(dy) and Ga (Gavin). He hardly ever sees Oscar and yet his is the next name he says! lol Not something for Grandma or Grandpa or even Kate. Nope, it’s Oscar before everyone else. If only I knew how the mind of a toddler worked. 🙂

Advertisements